Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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