Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
