I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
