Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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