Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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