she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
