we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
