She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Still dying that you shit outside
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
