oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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