The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
