I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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