I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
