Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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