She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
