Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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