she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
