I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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