i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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