Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
