Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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