Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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