Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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