Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
