wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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