if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need a beard to bite.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
