and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
