I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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