she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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