Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
