If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
