get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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