i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Are we still banned from the library?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
