i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
