one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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