Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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