i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sorry my hands just texted you
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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