if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
