I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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