Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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