No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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