I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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