Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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