I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
