Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
