Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i think my tv is drunk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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