Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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