Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
false alarm, still single
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
