I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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