You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
