Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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