omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
